Thursday, July 24, 2014

No where to run, no where to hide

We are lead to believe that there is a moral difference between bombing an abandoned hospital that snipers took cover in and bombing a hospital that you ordered to be evacuated before the snipers took cover.
Unfortunately, the end result is the same, Gaza looses a hospital.
A similar tactic was used today to destroy a UN run school sheltering displaced families seeking shelter from the onslaught. Unfortunately not enough time was allowed for the evacuation and as men, women and children (families) waited in the courtyard for evacuation the Israeli bombs started falling killing over a dozen people and wounding an undisclosed number.
That should teach the UN, to suggest that Israel might be guilty of war crimes for not taking enough care to avoid killing innocent civilians (families).

Friday, July 18, 2014

How to fry mushrooms

Late one night, in the declining years of the seventies, after watching a midnight episode of Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, a tiny, bearded gnome of a chef, I believe from the west coast, appeared on my television screen, giggling, joyously hopping up and down and exonerating in a high pitched voice, that what he was about to demonstrate, would not only, change how I forever looked at the common mushroom, it would also change my life.

Being unsure if this truly was a cooking show or possibly some imagined, reverberating, continuance of Mary Hartman, I watched, as the tiny chef carefully snapped the stems from the caps of plain white mushrooms.
"It is very important that, no part of the stem remain within the cap, nor that the cap itself, is damaged or cracked during the removal process. Any poorly disembowelled caps should be discarded to the side with the now dislodged stems.", he warned.
"For the novice, long narrow stems are more easily, removed and should be considered preferential, when selecting your mushrooms, if you purchase them in bulk.", he continued.
As an aside and as an expert mushroom de-stemmer with over thirty years experience, with practice, speed and the right angling of the mushroom even the shortest and chubbiest of thumbs can cleanly snap the shortest and chubbiest of stems.
"It does not matter the size of the mushroom cap, other than the larger the cap, the greater the growth of gills that will release the nirvana-like nectar that we are trying to create, transcending the mushroom from a tasteless fungal growth that is added to salads or pizzas as bulk, into a delectable, mouthwatering, vial for its precious bodily fluids.", he giggled.
For which I assumed he was Hindu and like myself, a fan of Peter Sellers movies.

As a second aside, although size does not matter, in this case, caps of a similar or consistent size are best, as the cooking time varies greatly between large and small caps and the point here is to eat the mushrooms as soon as they are ready.

"In reality, when the aroma of a perfectly transcended mushroom cap hits your nasal passages, you cannot stop yourself from drinking its sweet nectar and devouring it's now deliciously, meaty receptacle. So have all of them ready at the same time." in his words.
"Place the mushroom caps upside down in a heated frying pan containing a light, preferably unseasoned, cooking oil with a setting of medium to slightly medium/high."
"At this time, one could then slice and dice the discarded stems and if ruined during the de-stemming, any discarded caps and carefully place them in between the cooking mushrooms, being careful not to drop them into the mushroom cap itself, which could then interfere with the release of fluids".

"Standing back, you will, after a minute or so, start to see a honey-yellow daub start to form at the base of the cap which will grow into a bubble and eventually form an clear amber pool of liquid, right to the brim of the cap, at which time the transcendence and cooking time is complete".

Taking over at this time, remove the frying pan from the heat and lets prepare for the most difficult process of the task, which as a reminder, is How to fry mushrooms.
"With the precision and steadiness of hand that is more often associated with a pediatric-neurosurgeon, remove each now filled mushroom cap, one at a time, from the frying pan, placing them onto a plate, without spilling any of the amber, nectar."
Unfortunately there will be a small crust formation on the bottom of the upside mushroom, which will stick to the now cooling frying pan and you typically cannot use a spatula to remove the mushrooms and expect the meet the desired no spills rule.

For best results I would suggest the use of a tablespoon to transport the mushroom and a fork to coax the mushroom on and then off the spoon.

They are ready to sip and eat. I hope that you enjoy.

You will note in the shaky gif above, that there is a reddish spot in each of the sizzling or the transcending, mushrooms. Do not expect this, I was drinking scotch that night and decided to recklessly add a drop of Tai chilly sauce. Luckily it neither added to nor reduced from the delectable, mouthwatering, vial with its precious bodily fluids.

Friday, July 11, 2014

Defining Alberta one vehicle at a time

My guess is that the conservatives in Alberta did not like advertising the Wild Rose Party on the provinces' license plates so they have three new designs that they want Albertans to vote for. Although new and stylish, the designs totally miss the mark in representing the new Alberta. I think the one below better defines the Alberta that the rest of world sees.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Get a bucket and mop, clean the bottom and top

Shaw's Global Toronto ran a MacDonald's ad as a news story tonight. Watch the video here.

Global merged a story about, newly, published, research (with no MacDonalds references), by Dr. Marc-David Seidel, a professor at UBC’s Sauder School of Business with onsite interviews, with nice, white, Canadian, teenagers flipping burgers inside MacDonalds.

MacDonalds Canada has taken a major hit to its reputation, after revelations that they have been taking advantage of the Harper's government expanded Temporary Foreign Worker program.

After being caught replacing Canadian workers with lower cost foreign workers, their CEO, John Betts, made matters worse by sarcastically making light of the issue, in a recorded message to his franchisees.

And unfortunately when the big guys, especially the arrogant ones, screw up and light is shone upon their corporation's greed and their own arrogance, we all have to suffer through their ridiculous attempts to restore order. But don't worry Betts, Canadians will keep eating your cardboard imitation of meat. It is your American overlords, that you need to worry about, not for hiring of the indentured employees, but about how you handled the response when you were caught.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

PMO gives up chance to use its new anti-citizenship law

This must be disappointing for Harper's smarmy army

In response to a request made directly to Harper by NDP Leader Tom Mulcair, asking him "to provide assurances that Mohamed Fahmy (the Canadian journalist, wrongfully convicted in Egypt) will not be stripped of his Canadian citizenship”, which is now possible with Harper's new definition of Canadian citizenship (Bill C-24).

One of Harper's PMO minions, Jason MacDonald (the beaming asshole on the left), ignored Mulclair, choosing to respond by email to the Canadian press that the government had no intention of doing that, claiming that the request was just another conspiracy theory from the opposition.

You would think that just once, these assholes would take a higher road when communicating to us.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

It seemed like good over evil to me

Kathleen Wynne’s Liberals, gained 5 seats over their 2011 election results, Andrea Horwath’s New Democrats, gained 4 seats and Hudak lost 9 seats and his job.

Seemed like good over evil to me. The right wing CON party personally endorsed by Harper and his ministers was defeated without the dreaded progressive vote splitting taking place.

However, according to many posts around these parts, the results were a sham because Ontario used the existing electoral system, or it was not a progressive win because the Liberal party is not progressive, or an election result based on fear is somehow, not as valid as a result based on hope.

In my opinion, these bloggers are not paying attention to what is going on in this country and they should actually read the words that Simon puts out each and everyday. There is an evil political party in this country that needs to be voted out of office and Ontario just might be ready to do that.

The sad reality for some, is that there are ridings in Ontario that will never vote NDP, let’s call them the NDP hater ridings and of course there are also LIB hater ridings. Unfortunately for the NDP there are roughly five times more NDP haters than LIB haters, which explains why the 905 and many other urban ridings in Ontario, voted for Harper in the last federal election.

As an example, on the night before the last federal election, my Mississauga neighbour, a die hard Liberal was out on his lawn at midnight full of scotch, cursing Quebec and kicking the shit out of his Liberal lawn sign, not because he liked or disliked Ignatief, but because he knew he would have to vote Conservative in the morning, to prevent a possible NDP minority government.

Realistically the NDP both provincially and federally cannot win Ontario.

However if the vague d’orange resides back to a more realistic level in Quebec in 2015, Quebec and Ontario can be the provinces that put the stake into Harper’s cold, cold, heart and end his reign of terror.

On a personal note, I voted Liberal last week and I guess I am no longer a progressive. However I was never that fond of the word Progressive as it seemed like a cop out, that became popular when the crazy Americans made being a liberal a negative thing. Of course I am referring to the word liberal, meaning tolerant, unprejudiced, open-minded, enlightened as opposed to being a narrow-minded, bigoted conservative who believes it is their right to own automatic weapons and shoot non-whites, muslins and now apparently children and police officers.

I think I will now have to consider myself a Simonite.

Simonites can not only see the trees in the forest, they can read the leaves and they also try to put a nice, long, lasting shine on things.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Wow,Wynne is awesome

A Liberal victory called and really close to a majority......

 Update Nancy LeBlanc (Impolitical) is leading in a close race, go Nancy.

Update: It's a Liberal Majority,

Still no word on Nancy.

Friday, June 6, 2014

There must be inbreeding in Nepean-Carlton

To torture myself, while working at home, because it shouldn’t, really be fun, I leave my television tuned to CP24 as back ground noise.

This morning, my head started to ache and my stomach started to heave and I thought I was about to become Ontario’s next West Nile victim, when I looked up at the TV and I realized that I was again listening to the ridiculous, over the top, ramblings of this obnoxious creature.

And then I thought who in their right mind would vote for such a partisan hack and sure enough, after very little research, it all made sense. 

The same idiot voters that vote for this asshole.

OMG: YouTube is actively campaigning for the Liberal party

There I was this morning, sitting with my eight year old granddaughter, about to get our morning dose of “a spoonful of sugar” and her favorite video was surrounded by this YOUTUBE/Liberal propaganda.

Oh wait, never mind,  my granddaughter explained to me that this was an advertisement that the Liberal Party of Ontario had purchased.

Sorry about that, I was having a dippy moment

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

nutty norquist north

Timmy is an idiot..

This week he introduced Grover Norquist’s "Taxpayer Protection Pledge,” into Canada. The one page pledge that we all should know by now, blackmailed republicans in congress to log jam the US government and prevent it from doing anything.

Of course with Timmy’s oath he is blackmailing himself and his own government from accomplishing anything, which I guess makes sense in his bizarro world where working at the same job for eight years is counted as eight new jobs.

Friday, May 30, 2014

Harper, bring back my Ecuadorian burger dressers

Five years ago, I thought, my goodness, there must be a large number of Mexicans immigrating into Canada. I was hearing and seeing Spanish speaking people working all over Mississauga and I thought, wow, that is cool, here is the next wave of new Canadians, adding some Latin heat to the unique ethnicity blend, that is one of the few redeeming features of living in Hazel’s crowded, little, city of 770,000.

I thought, they must really be pissed at the racist crap that is spreading in the US, amongst the border states, if they were willing to move all the way up here, into our northern clime.

My local Harvey’s (Dundas/Winston Churchill) employed four of my supposedly, Mexican women, ages 35 to 40, who spoke limited English, yet surprisingly had perfect communication skills when it came to burger dressing and whom also, worked as a well oiled team, helping to fill each others orders and shyly sharing smiles and hidden laughter at the typical banter I spew, when communicating to food preparers, waiters, waitresses, baristas, lawyers, greeters, bank tellers, doctors and of course LCBO employees that I frequently use the services of.

One night, I tipped one of the women, the three dollars of pocket change, that I did not have a pocket for and over the next two years all four of them recognized me with a big smile and many times remembered what I wanted on my wife’s veggie burger. Although strangely, they never seemed to get my jokes.

Anyway, about two years ago they all disappeared and as it is with most of the increasing number of bad things that are happening in Canada, I now know that it is Harper’s fault.

Apparently, my new Mexican immigrants were actually from Ecuador and the reason that they got along so well, was that they had all left their families behind and were living together in an apartment with other Ecuadorians and the reason that they were always mysteriously there, whenever my burger cravings could not be overcome, was not some cosmic syncing of the good things in my life, but that they were working at Harvey’s as temporary foreign workers and had little reason to take a day off.

So Harper, here’s the solution.

Do away with your obscene TFW program and expand our traditional immigration processes to encourage Ecuadorians or the citizens of any other country that meet the now lower qualifications of the TFW program, to immigrate here.

If they are allowed into Canada for four years as indentured employees, they should be allowed to immigrate here with their families as future Canadian citizens.

Thank you and while you are at it, see if you can find my four Ecuadorian burger princesses and see if they are willing to give our country a second chance,

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Intellegence might be returning to Wisconsinites

Scott Walker, the Koch brothers darling, governor of Wisconsin is now tied in a neck and neck race for re-election with Mary Burke, an educated, business professional with state governmental experience.

Should be a "no-brainer" for Burke, but unfortunately that is what happened last time when the state elected this dirt bag, teabagger and certainly did not use their brains.

See the Progressive here or TPM here.

Friday, December 6, 2013

Only in Harperland

Only in HarperLand would the first governmental report on impending environmental threats be that... we should cut down our boreal forests.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

For ideologys sake take this nitro into the cave

Under this year's omnibus bill, "the Minister of Labour will now have the legal right to dismiss any safety complaint that results in a worker refusing to work and to do so without any investigation".

According to the article, no employer has ever called for these changes or even raised them for discussion, but the ministry believes the changes will streamline the workplace safety system.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

The bobble heads at city hall

Apparently there will be one thousand of these at the Toronto city hall next week. The Mayor's Office  is selling them as part of it's united way campaign.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Thank you Ms Doolittle

This powerful woman

Lesbian ball busting house of horrows

Personally I thought, the manly man, men, at the Toronto Sun would be more terrified about word of the Gay Gouls in Guelph* house but who knows.

* In full disclosure, the "Gay Goulds in Guelph" is a figment of my imagination as opposed to the "Lesbian ball busting on the government dime" is a figment of the Toronto's Sun, which does mean that I am not one of the manly men that the Sun apparently thinks we all must be, unless you are either a subsereviante female or obviously a ball busting lesbians which apparently is the subject of this post.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

The insipid superiority of an ongoing inferiority complex

Apparently our 99 senators spent over 1,000,000 dollars in travel during a period of time (March 26th to June 1st) covering the last May election. Forty Six of those senators spent more than double what they normally spent during that period, although no total for those particular senators was provided.
The Senate spent more than $1-million to pay for Senators to travel between Ottawa and their regions during a period that covered the May 2011 election, according to online expenditure reports which also show that 46 Senators received reimbursements at least double their average quarterly travel amounts. 

In all, 26 Liberal Senators and 20 Conservative Senators were reimbursed twice as much than their personal average for travel during the March 1 to May 31, 2011 quarterly period when there were 11 Senate sitting days. Parliament was dissolved between March 26 and June 1 for the 41st general election which took place on May 2, 2011. During this period, the Senate also reimbursed members $415,000 for travel outside of the national capital region, totaling $1.15-million for all travel.
Which sadly becomes 26 Liberal senators and 20 Conservative senators spent over 1,000,000.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Good thing Pussy Riot is Russian

I guess Russian protestor laws are not as severe as the new masked protestor laws in Canada. Pussy Riot is out and here is their new video.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Thank god for oil

It is not often that I, an old, long haired, bald headed, scruffy bearded, freaky person, gets to spend an hour and half in conversation with a past middle age, evangelical, harper-conservative, who, now struggling to adapt to his newly found and forced, entrepreneurially focussed future, one that in part was brought on by the very failure of the neoliberal economic policies that he and his faithfully worshipped party leader, continue to embrace and endorse, but as happens more often than not, due to my expertise in an obscure, financial management software, solution, I found myself riding shotgun on the way to the falls.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Bad drugs, fast cars, and mean people in Madoc

Seem to be having strange xmas memories this year. Might be the drugs. This over the counter stuff seems to have all sorts of side affects.

One such affected xmas memory involved selling greeting cards for the Rust Craft greeting card company. They gave me Eastern Ontario as a territory and a six month old,1972 Gran Torino, 2-door, hard top, as my company car. 

The Torino had no ass end and probably the worst car you could choose for winter driving, along the eastern end of the 401, which was posted at 75 miles an hour in some stretches back then. Other than the time I tipped it in a snow bank outside of Napanee, it was awesome to drive.I listened to the Canada-Russia series in that car.

We are getting closer to the xmas part.

Rust Craft was basically a printing company that licensed artwork from Rust Craft UK and sold the resulting greeting cards to department stores and every mom and pop, general store, in every small, Canadian town, which is what my territory consisted of. These family run, hardware, variety, rural, general stores would carry four to twelve feet of xmas cards and the owner, usually the wife, wanted to select each card, from each of the categories, that would be the best cards for their store. 

1972, being before the internet, cell phones, computers and the wide scale adaption of the fax machine, meant that you phoned ahead, booking anywhere up to four hours and showed up fifteen minutes early, lugging in wrap, bows and name tag samples and seven large binders of individual xmas and new year cards that the owner would go through.

Rust Craft had over forty years of artwork to choose from the Brits and had every general Merry Christmas, Merry Xmas, Happy Holidays, Season Greetings. God Bless something, religious card you could think of, along with cards for every categorized variation of friend and family.

Baby's 1st, 2nd,3rd all the way up to 10th Christmas in both sexes, Daughter, Son, Stepdaughter, Stepson, Granddaughter, Grandson, God Daughter, God Son, Niece, Nephew, Mother, Father, Mom, Dad, Mommy, Daddy, My Parents, Our Parents, Grandmother, Grandfather, Grandma, Granddad, My Grandparents, Our Grandparents, Aunt, Uncle, Aunt and Uncle, Your first Christmas together, To Both of You, From Both of Us, To the Three of you. To All of You, From All of Us and my favourite which I considered the most thoughtless card ever made

The "To You Alone at Christmas" card. 

Although none of my customers ordered the card, I always added one pack of six to each order, just to see if anyone would be mean enough to send one.

And the one time they ever sold was the xmas of 72 when 4 cards were sold in Madoc, Ontario.

There was at least one sick card customer in Madoc that year and hopefully not four suicides by card.

So if you are alone for xmas this year, ignore this card and visit bloggers on the internet and Happy Holidays.

Saturday, December 15, 2012

To the victor comes the spoils

The victor is the American spirit. The spirit of a society that cheered the killing, harming and displacement of a million people in a country that they falsely and knowingly labelled as evil. A society that condones the continuing indiscriminateness of drone attacks on populated areas, killing hundreds of innocent women and children in its name.

A country where a kindergarden teacher owns an arsenal of automatic weapons.

Yes, the American spirit that planned for the new American century. The bring it on, we're number one, mission accomplished, you're doing a good job Brownie, God bless fucking America spirit was the victor yesterday. The USA, USA, USA, that issues carry permits in forty nine of fifty states was the victor yesterday.

The spoils were the lives of its innocent children.

If you were an alien that arrived from another planet or for that matter someone living in the middle east under the shadow of drones and you read the two stories about the attacks on school children, the one in Connecticut and the one in China, which society would you believe is more civilized?

Maybe the NRA is correct, guns and drones don't kill, the people do.

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