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Boys are not allowed to hit girls

Don't do much anymore except make breakfast for one of my grandkids, a seven year old boy, walking him to school, picking him up and then having philosophical conversations about his day. Living in the basement of my daughter's house, I really try, to not interfere with their parenting, but what the hell, right now he spends as much time with me during the week, than he does with them.

The other day my daughter who came home early and ended up eavesdropping on our conversation about when to fight and when to walk away. Apparently it was one of those days in the school yard.

"Look, it is really simple" I started, "there are only two rules about fighting.The first rule is, you don't start the fight, but if a boy hits you, hit him back, as hard and as fast as you can and don't stop until he runs away." He liked that part and demonstated how he would punch. "In other other words," I continued "you will only be in trouble if you started the fight by hitting them first, but not if they hit you first"

He was fine with that.

"The second rule is boys are not allowed to hit girls. Even if they hit you first you can't hit them back. Even if they keep hitting you, you can't hit them back." He was a tad upset about this, since it was a girl who was giving a rough time that day. At which point his mother spoke up and explained to him that it was a family rule, that even his uncle, her brother had to follow the rule when they were kids. She could hit him but he couldn't hit her.

My grandson thought rule two was stupid and then Spongebob came on and the conversation ended. At least for now.

My father was a scrapper, as they used to say and always wanted me to be more of a fighter, but he also stressed the two rules, don't throw the first punch and don't hit a girl. I believe the don't hit a girl part was because of my mother's childhood. Her father was an onion farmer with four boys, two girls and a wife he used to regularly beat up when he got drunk, which was often.

Before my parents got married, before my mother slept with him, she made him promise that he would never raise his hand to her, another old saying. He never did and made sure that his son wouldn't either, to any woman.

Simple rule, one would think, much like holding a door open for somebody and it is truly sad that in 2017 both my daughter and I feel it is something we still need to teach and explain.


There are some things that just have to be instilled in our children because they have to learn to resist their instincts. We're all born just a bit feral.
Gyor said…
Are you for real, your teaching your son to be a second class citizen and to accept abusive behavior. Did you guys at least call the girls parents and complain?

I'm not condoning the Onion farmers abusive behavior, its deplorable, but so is raising boys to be easy victims of violent women.

Gyor, can you imagine the humiliation that young boy would have received had word got out on the playground that his 'daddy' called the girl's 'mommy' to complain? 'Second class citizen" What, is there a special this month on hyperbole?

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